I don't think you have, man. In fact, perhaps it was indeed the right thing to do. No... what I wonder is if the girl is worth keeping around. The bottom line is if you're a special kind of man then you deserve to be treated in a special kind of way. I'll be damned if I'll be a door mat for any woman. You said she USED to date you and is now casually going out with others? But yet she's still giving you the day to day rundown on her romantic life?

I fail to see where you've made a big social mistake here,
and in fact perhaps it was the right thing to do. But truthfully, if you KNOW that you were a great boyfriend to her, and that in all actuality she should still be going out with only you-- then WHY stand to be relegated to the 'also ran' category?

Sometimes it is best to walk. Ya never know, man. Sometimes they follow....

But my paradigms about violence against women being a crucial issue n America society has NOTHING to do with what you've been going thru.

The issue is REAL, and the stats are there to PROVE I am right, from molestation statistics to date rape data, from stalking and domestic violence, to abduction rape murder, sexual harrassment and more.

Here's something to really consider, though. What if this guy had been MORE than verbally abusive to her? You may have just had your first experience in dealing with a girl who just got the hell beat out of her by a really bad man.

I never have 'appointed myself a protector' at all; I KNOW there's too much violence against girls and women, and I AM doing something about it in the VRM.

Best of luck with whatever ya do, but don't blame me for wanting a safer world, ok? :)

But one thing you should never, ever do is get in the way of a chick and a guy she's mad at but keeps hanging around. Because she's got that insane chick thing going on with him. My guess is it's some kind of pheromone bonding thing. Us guys have something similar, and it causes us to end up lifting refrigerators up six flights of stairs and stuff like that, just on the off chance... you know. Very bad odds. Anyway, if a chick and a guy happen to get hooked up in something like that, you would be safer getting between a momma bear and her cubs. You'll get the crap kicked out of you from both sides every time.

So what you gotta do is this. Whether you admit it or not, you wouldn't take the kind of action you did unless you have some feelings for this chick. Some idle fantasy that something might... you know. Anyway, you gotta get her out of your brain! You gotta sit yourself down and tell yourself that as cute as she may be, she's a grown up, and she's got herself in this other stupid relationship, and as stupid as you think it is, that's her business and she's the stupid one for putting up with it, and concentrate on every stupid thing she's done. The you go out and get yourself a new chick to think about and just let that other one sink. Just like Leo DiCaprio in Titanic. So long, Betty Lou, you stupid little whore!

Maybe that's what confusing me. Are you two "dating?" Or is she "dating" this other guy? Because from the earlier post it sounded like one of those, "she feels free to unload on you emotionally and parade her messy sex life in front of you and you're going home to pound your pud" kinda deals.

: Second, I've known this girl for a while, much longer than him,
: and I'm pretty fond of her, probably to a fault. (The word
: "recently" in my post referred to the deepening of our relationship,
: not to the length of our acquaintance.)

Just how "deep" are you getting in this relationship? Because if you're not getting "deep deep" you'd still be better off putting your time and energy INto a chick who is putting OUT. Unless you're one of those guys who thinks someday their friendship with a hot chick is going to turn into some great headboard cracking relationship. Good luck with that one, pal. Still better odds in Vegas.

: The idea that he'll "kick the crap out of me" is...highly,
: highly unlikely.

> Please don't post again until you have something cogent
> and worthwhile--or at least vaguely amusing--to say.

So you're telling this other guy to shut up, now you're telling me to shut up. Do I detect a pattern here? I think so.

Well answer me this then, answer man. Why did you put your little sob story up here in the first place? I'll tell you, pal. It's basically because you wanted to show the chicks on the board what a strong, supportive kind of guy you are; cause guys always got a line in the water. It's our nature. You did all this self-deprication and rolled over and showed your belly and you pointed out the difference between you and JJJ so you could present yourself as sensitive but not a kook like Trip J. And you got some pretty good responses, too. Some chicks here got right in with you. You got a couple of strokes.

But when I pop in and shine a light on the REAL issue, suddenly who gets all defensive? Suddenly playing the poor idiot who so graciously admits he was "stupid and rash and arrogant and thoughtless" doesn't sit so good. That confirms to me that your self-deprication was a load. A little play act. And that you're as stupid, rash, arrogant and thoughtless as ever and you didn't learn any great lesson from your experience, you just say you did because you thought it might mean some extra tookie points for you.

So hey, forget I said anything. Marry this nutty chick for all I care. That'll teach you a real lesson.

no your wrong! altough society deems it unacceptable (and rightly so), the ability and the want to lash out and hurt and especially the need to defend those whom we deem close to us, is something that is in us all. some of us like myself are unfortunatly more in touch with these emotions and feelings of anger.

Here's a web page which will tell you
a lot about domestic violence.

You might want to print it out and
take it to work. Read it several times.
It represents good research and good
data from the USDOJ.

click here

I was talking to a guy at work the other
day, and he was surprised to find out
that one of our femme co-workers was
assaulted when she went to the post
office. The guy took her purse and stole
her money, knocking her out as he went.
YET ANOTHER girl we work with has been
molested, and yet he might not even know that.

I think he does, but I haven't asked him about
it.

I KNOW that she was, because I know her
pretty well. So now, since he has been here
to read the blab, he knows a girl who was
a crime victim of aggravated assault, a
poster who was a victim of domestic
violence, and a molestation victim.

As I have told many folks around, there's
a FINE LINE that seperates those who
HAVE BEEN victimized and those who haven't been.

I never thought my cousin would get
murdered and that I'd be a pallbearer,
either...ya know?