She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest


Posted by SnM , Aug 08,2001,16:22   MetroBlab

Anybody else think "She's Got a Mace Can on Her Key Chain" is a fine title for a country song? What phrase would best complete the thought?

Here's a couple of ideas:

"She's Got a Mace Can on Her Key Chain...

...and She's Bracin' for a Heartache"

...and a Heart Full of Hurtin'"

...and Her Fist in Your Face"

...and Her Foot in His Crotch"

You get the idea.

Let the games begin!


Followups



She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- SnM
Posted by Moaning Lisa , Aug 09,2001,11:35   MetroBlab

She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain
� Copyright 2001
written by Moaning Lisa

I don't care if she's an Eta Theta Pi
I just want to get a look at that thigh
All meat, all sweet
With a dimple up high

I don't mind if she's a little on the rag
I just know that she'll never be a drag
Uninspired or too wired
Always up for a gag

She's got a mace can on her key chain
And a Beanie Baby on her rear view mirror
Her lovely face can fill my pea brain
You'd find out too if you could just get near her



She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- SnM
Posted by Mike , Aug 08,2001,16:41   MetroBlab

"...and a U-haul in the drive."

"...and a pistol in my face."

"...and cheap whiskey on her breath."

"...and her stockings in a wad."

"...but her undies on the floor."

"...and a beer can in her hand."

"...and a shotgun in her heart."


She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- SnM
Posted by Rev. Jack ® , Aug 08,2001,16:35   MetroBlab

Well, her brain's been peppered,
with bad boys and perverts,
she's lonely but afraid of bein' raaaaaaped.

She's got a mace can on her key chain,
says she won't get burned ay-gaaaain...

oooohhhhhhh she's got a mace can on her key chain,
she sprayed my heaaaaart...
ow. (badump-bump) That smarts.


She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- SnM
Posted by Scary Girl ® , Aug 08,2001,16:28   MetroBlab

...and JJJ is to blame.

...and she stole my truck in the pouring rain.

...I just ain't got nothing left to sang!

...and pepperspray in her heart.

...and mama thinks she's too young for me.

...since I served time she's been funny.

...I like my women just a little on the trashy side.

...cause I've met all my wives in traffic jams.

...isnstead of my class 'rang.'



You too, can own this musical masterpiece!

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- Scary Girl
Posted by Francisco Scaramanga ® , Aug 08,2001,16:42   MetroBlab

Yes, you read correctly! Now you can own one of the Jester's musical tributes to the women he has loved & shoved! The title track speaks for itself, "Lolitas By The Pool". In this track, our lovable Jester checks out the femme fools at the pool.

Other fine selections on this disc include, "I'll Write About You!" - A tribute to feminists EVERYWHERE, "Jester" which describes his intense mentality his therapist cannot define in rational language, & "West End Girls" - yep, a remake of that famous Pet Shop Boys classic as a tribute to the chicas in West Tennessee.

I could go on but we don;t want to spoil the surprises in wait! Pick up your copy today!

Caution: If you have previously filed suit, restraint orders, or taken any legal action against the jaded jester it may not be legal in all 50 states to acquire this masterpiece.


She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- Scary Girl
Posted by jessefox , Aug 08,2001,16:40   MetroBlab

She's got a mace can on her key chain
Where my key used to be
She's got a mace can on her key chain
And it's all because a' me

I just want to give her my love and affection
but I cain't get around that order of protection

She's got a mace can on her key chain
And she won't open her door
She's got a mace can on her key chain
She won't see me no more

If she'd just let me in as far as the foyer
But every time I ask, she just calls her lawyer

She's got a mace can on her key chain
Where my key used to be




PERFECT!

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- jessefox
Posted by Angie , Aug 09,2001,16:22   MetroBlab

Name it "Angie's Ex's Lament," throw in some guitar and juice harp and you've got a hit single Jesse!

p.s.

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- jessefox
Posted by jessefox , Aug 08,2001,17:23   MetroBlab

I've written the tune to go with it (on Ian's trusty six-string). It's in G. It wil debut this Friday at Macleod's, dedicated, of course, to mr. Jester.

jfm


hey that sounds pretty good, man...

Re:
p.s. -- jessefox
Posted by Julias Jaded Jester ® , Aug 08,2001,20:36   MetroBlab

hey use it if ya can, there man....

what can I tell ya the phrases just roll off the assembly line...

If it'll make some folks entertained, go for it.

There's plenty more where that came from, so stay tuned.


Damn, damn, damn.

Re:
hey that sounds pretty good, man... -- Julias Jaded Jester
Posted by Funkless ® , Aug 09,2001,00:55   MetroBlab

"There's plenty more where that came from, so stay tuned."

Well, I'm checking in on MY girlfriend tonight.

--Funkless


She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest

Re:
She's Got A Mace Can On Her Key Chain...finish the lyric contest -- Scary Girl
Posted by ScaraMANga ® , Aug 08,2001,16:39   MetroBlab

Well, she's got a mace can on her key chain
and I can't contain my shame
'cause I got cum stains on the pillow
where her sweet head used to lay