sounds like there's plenty of room down there. and dude, don't brag about the sport coat in the same sentence you tell us you're wearing it with jeans. it doesn't matter how much you paid for it, you obviously can't buy style.

Well, yeah, you're right about that.

But I do know this -- if you go out in public looking like this guy, carrying around a gun won't stop you from being a dork.

See, that's the reason you get no play my man. The babies dig the Gucci.

On my first date with my wife, we both wore neoprene and fake Tevas.

We went up to the Little River. We found a hellbender guarding a nest of young'uns. We ate tuna from a can, and washed it down with Wiedemann from a can. We slept in the back of a truck. Both our hearts went "thumpety thump."

And for desert, the mudpuppy/hellbender/axlotol depending on what part of the world you're in.

My wife? Our first date was eating fried chicken on the floor of my unfurnished condo and drinking Lone Star long necks.

We went "thumpty thump" until dawn too.