Weaselness is a subjective quality, but you know one when you see one, unless that weasel happens to be yourself, in which case you had good reasons for doing what you did. Put the greatest weight on recent weasel behavior. I know that some of you are still angry about the Crusades, but try to put it behind. We want fresh, innovative weasels that did their best work in 2003.

Remember that being a weasel isn't the same as being evil. Serial killers, for example, are evil but they rank low on the weasel scale because they give you exactly what they promise. World-class weasels are people with hidden agendas and cynical motives. They're greedy, selfish, and power-hungry and they think you're not smart enough to stop them. Often they're right, and that's the most annoying thing about weasels.

In the best weasel tradition, this poll is exuberantly, unapologetically unscientific. Last year a conservative group rallied its troops to bias the poll to serve its own agenda. We applaud that behavior and find it to be in the true spirit of weaseldom.

Voting will end on October 15, 2003.

Scott Adams