Check out the list of Black Metal band names. Cornhole had always been my fav, but now "Fuck...I'm Dead" definitely takes the cake.

And this is sheer comedy gold:

10. Rage Against The Dying Of The Light...
by n29_w95
at Fri 19 Sep 8:52am score of 5 funny

[show lights come up]

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (Who is starting to suspect that his band needs some national notoriety Before his hairline recedes more, his beer gut expands uncontrollably and the 15-year-old chicks dry up.): "Whoo-hoo!!! Fuckin'-A Tampa!!! We're Hell On Earth�, and we're here to ROCK YOU STRAIGHT INTO HELL!!!!"

audience[applause, whooping]

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (Who once attended a Renaissance Faire dressed as a Vulcan that had beamed down and was taking notes on primitive civilizations... he even stayed in character all day except when he was eating his Chipwich�): [makes a little secret Devil-Sign motion with his hand] "Now, You KNOW that Hell On Earth� likes to ROCK! But tonight we need to get serious for a second..."

audience[irritated mumbling][plastic cup thrown][some kid in the back screams 'fag']

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (Who works days at "Wee Things" model shop. He's the guy who waves the checkered flag at the end of remote controlled car races): "Dudes, tonight we are going to stare into the black mirror of Death's icy hand... uh... I mean... Feel the caress of Death's cold stare... um, (fuck, I'm losing the audience...) SATAN!!!"

audience[whooping, secret devil signs]

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (who recently moved out of his old room and into his parents' garage because his dad finally sold the Rambler... He rakishly refers to his new digs as "The Sepulchre"): "Tonight, this crazy mutherfucker is gonna off himself right onstage... for dignity and shit..."

audience[perks up][plastic cup thrown][some kid in the back screams 'get on with it!']

"Suicide" Guy [runs on stage, makes a devil sign] "ROCK AND ROLL, TAMPA!!!"

audience[applause, whooping][some kid in the back screams 'kill yourself with a big dildo!']

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (He once played Vince Fontaine in his high school's production of Grease): "All right, man. Time to End Your Pain!!!"

audience[gasps][hushed nervously chattering][some kid in the back screams 'dildo, dude! use a dildo!']

"Suicide" Guy "All right, man. Here goes! Goodbye, World. Goodbye, Tampa. Goodbye, Rock."
[puts his hands around his own neck, chokes himself for a few seconds, groans and falls over]

audience[irritated mumbling][scattered laughter][some kid in the back screams 'fart on his head!']

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (A little-taken aback about how lame the gag played out � tries to make the most of it. He's glad he stopped by Ye Olde Magic Shoppe this morning for fake blood): "We toast your transference! Greet Satan for us!" [drinks a chalice of fake blood... (the 'chalice' was something he made at summer camp one year when he was a kid. He had it laying around on his shelf, figured it would make a good prop.)]"Satan!... and Herion!!"

audience[whooping, secret devil signs]

Lead-Singing, Dreadlocked, Attention-Starved Closet-Nerd (thinks this was The Best Show Ever. Will be sure to write it down in his diary tonight when he gets back to The Sepulchre): "Now that we've seen Death's Dignity, LET'S ROCK!!!!"

{breaks into a thunderous song}{'Suicide' Guy slips off stage between when the lights go down and the strobe starts}

The Fallout
{the following day, the Moral Majority sends an email to John Ashcroft about the show's "moral turpitude" and live music is banned in 47 states}{CNN.com even does a little poll: A. Should All Music Be Banned? or B. Only Rock Music}
{The band's website gets 1,000 extra hits, and they sell almost 35 cds}