General Pershing, where are you?


Posted by hard69rock ® , Sep 05,2003,03:14   MetroBlab
Prior to World War I, there were a number of terrorist attacks against U.S. forces by muslim extremeists. General Pershing captured fifty of the terrorists and had them tied to posts. He then had his men slaughter two pigs in front of the terrorists. Muslims are not fond of pigs by religious mandates as it prevents them from entering paradise. Pershing ordered his men to soak their bullets in the blood and then executed 49 of the terrorists. The bodies were thrown in a mass grave and dowsed with the remains of the pigs. The 50th terrorist was set free. For the next FORTY TWO YEARS, the wasn't a single muslim terrorist act anywhere in the world. Time for history to repeat itself.

Followups


 General Pershing, where are you?

Re: General Pershing, where are you? -- hard69rock
Posted by Gro��tanz ® , Sep 05,2003,08:44   MetroBlab

Claim: General John J. Pershing effectively discouraged Muslim terrorists in the Philippines by killing them and burying their bodies with pigs.

Status: Undetermined.

what snopes says about this internet rumour:

We haven't eliminated ruling out the possibility that Pershing at some point chose to deal with a group of "Mohammedan fanatics" in a manner similar to the one described above, but so far all we've turned up are several different accounts and nothing that documents Pershing's involvement.

end the war by throwing a B-B-Que

Re: General Pershing, where are you? -- Gro��tanz
Posted by plum ® , Sep 05,2003,10:42   MetroBlab
If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell. Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon and assault efforts may be more successful. Apparently Muslims dislike the very sight of pigs A LOT!

They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousand gallons of moonshine, get them drunk and turn the pigs loose. The war would be over in a weekend.

get them drunk and turn the pigs loose

Re: end the war by throwing a B-B-Que -- plum
Posted by spinetingler ® , Sep 05,2003,11:32   MetroBlab
sounds like some parties I've attended in Murvil.
General Pershing, where are you?

Re: General Pershing, where are you? -- hard69rock
Posted by jfm ® , Sep 05,2003,04:17   MetroBlab
I guess that was nice for those people who were around during those FORTY TWO YEARS. Maybe less so for those who happened to be around in the FORTY THIRD YEAR.

You can't fight terror with guns. Terror is all about fear. You can't shoot fear, the only way to beat it is to not be afraid of it.

FDR was right about some things.

General Pershing, where are you?

Re: General Pershing, where are you? -- hard69rock
Posted by Jhaque Schidt ® , Sep 05,2003,03:38   MetroBlab
Holy Cow, man. Who would have thought the solution would be so simple.

You're a cold mother fucker.

General Pershing, where are you?

Re: General Pershing, where are you? -- Jhaque Schidt
Posted by hard69rock ® , Sep 05,2003,16:39   MetroBlab
Sean Connery said it best in "The Untouchables"
"He pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue."
If you're gonna fight, you gotta be in it for the win.
Yes, I am a cold mother fucker. Thanks for noticing.
The Untouchables: A perfectly awesome movie

Re: General Pershing, where are you? -- hard69rock
Posted by GSMOT(tm) ® , Sep 05,2003,17:15   MetroBlab
Thank God Capone never thought of flying planes into tall buildings...